How to Celebrate This Week’s ‘National Days’: Oct. 2-8, 2016

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Oct. 2 – National Name Your Car Day

Scroll through your Facebook friends until you find that one person you had a crush on in high school, but never had the courage to tell. Spend an hour combing through their photos and posts, familiarizing yourself with every aspect of their new life. Accidentally, “like” a picture from three years ago. Name your car after their current spouse.

Oct. 3 – National Techies Day

Give a baby a computer and suggest, in a helpful but firm way, that it learn to code. Tell the baby that its future will likely depend on its ability to understand various programming languages and their applications. Show the baby statistics regarding its potential earning power based on technical knowledge. Reason with the baby. Reason is the only way to get through to babies.

Oct. 4 – National Taco Day

Debate the merits of soft versus crunchy tacos with a friend. Have several dozen of each delivered to your home. Eat the tacos while binge-watching Luke Cage on Netflix. Realize you were both right and that tacos – no matter the format – are the world’s best food. Cherish your friendship.

Oct. 5 – National Do Something Nice Day

Think about doing something nice today. Don’t feel particularly compelled to actually do anything nice. It’s the thought that counts, right?

Oct. 6 – National Noodle Day

Go to your local supermarket and purchase its entire stock of instant noodles. Return home and draw a hot bath. Unwrap all your noodle packets (including seasoning) directly into the bath. Step into the bath and luxuriate. Realize that being an adult means doing whatever the hell you want when you want. Never bathe again.

Oct. 7 – National Frappé Day

Go to a chain coffee shop and order a frappé. See how many non-liquid substances you can convince the barista to blend into your beverage – cookies, sandwiches, pastries, pre-packaged salads, etc. When you receive your frappé, complain that you don’t enjoy the taste and ask that it be remade. Repeat.

Oct. 8 – National Fluffernutter Day

Make enough fluffernutter sandwiches for a week’s worth of meals. Pack them into a hobo bindle and set off on a freighthopping tour of the American southwest. Befriend a talking dog and cat duo to join in your adventures. Never come home again.

EDIT: By request, we will now be including the individual images for each National Day in a convenient slideshow for your viewing pleasure! Enjoy!

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