National Go Fishing Day
Gather your gear and visit your local body of water. Fish. Hook a talking fish. The fish will offer you three wishes in exchange for its life. Ask these questions:
- If you’re smart enough to talk, why aren’t you smart enough to avoid a hook?
- If you have the power to grant wishes, why don’t you magic yourself out of this situation?
- Can other fish talk or are you an anomaly?
- Doesn’t that get lonely?
Do not release the fish. Instead, take the fish on an international press tour of morning talk shows. Become rich from appearance fees. Live like kings. Grow old together, bonded not only by your shared wealth, but by mutual respect and affection.
Relevant links:
- Scientists claim fish ‘talk’ to each other – The Telegraph
- Not Only Do Fish ‘Talk,’ They Have Accents – Newser
- How to Catch Fish – TakeMeFishing.org
- How to Take Care of Fish – PetMD
- Five Steps to Get on a Talk Show – Entrepreneur
- Myths and Legends podcast
- Cover image: Big Fishes Eat Little Fishes by Pieter Bruegel the Elder.
A handy image to share with friends (fish, human, etc.):
follow me to certain doom 