National Sour Candy Day
July 18, 2017
Exchange your last cow for a handful of sour candy beans. Plant the beans in your backyard. Sleep. In the morning, wake to find sour candy beanstalks reaching out of the earth and into the clouds above. Climb a beanstalk until you reach Sour Candy Land. Steal nothing. Kill no one. Instead, introduce yourself politely to the first Sour Candy giant you encounter and request to meet their local officials. Broker peace between Sour Candy Land and the human world below, playing an integral role in their political, cultural, and commercial exchange. Rub your success in your parents’ faces. Oh, yeah? Beans are stupid? Who’s stupid now, jerks?
Rub it in everyone’s faces
The information and skills you need to lead and succeed
- Six Reasons Why Sour Candy Is the Best Kind of Candy – FoodBeast
- 8 Sweet, Surprising Face About Jelly Beans Every Candy Lover Should Know – Reader’s Digest
- A Sweet and Sour History of Our Obsession with Candy – NPR
- History of Jack and the Beanstalk – SurLaLuneFairyTales.com
- Adolescence and Parental Approval – Psychology Today
- The World’s Sourest Candy – Delishably
Who says money can’t buy happiness? Lots of people. Try anyway.
- Sour canvas art print by Triyt on Society6
- Sour candy strap bowtie by rommydebommy on etsy
- A 12-pack of Sour Patch Kids Extreme on Amazon
- Gummy worm graphic socks by KickyJawbone on etsy
- Sour Patch Kids 01 shower curtain by Knol on Society6
- Toxic Waste Hazardously Sour Candy on Amazon
- Sweets Glorious Sweets pillow by Yodelingbeans on Society6
Certain Doom believes in you when no one else will! In return, we only ask you that you please check out our book How to Celebrate National Days, now available in paperback and ebook on Amazon.
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