National Drive-Thru Day
July 24, 2017
Order a dozen of each item on the discount menu at your local fast-food drive-thru. Return home. In the driveway, build a restaurant out of cardboard boxes, an old walky-talky, and empty paint buckets. Break down and reconfigure the fast food items into a selection of elaborate canapés, integrating locally-grown, sustainably sourced, and organic fruits and vegetables into each – a thoughtful juxtaposition of the mass-produced with the artisinally cultivated. Keep the food warm with a discarded basking lamp from your iguana’s old terrarium. (RIP, Pufnstuf.) Open your drive-thru to bicyclists only. Become a star of the local food scene. Expand your restaurant. Gain local media attention. Open a second location. Gain nationwide media attention. Franchise. Lose credibility with your core customer base. Grow old and wealthy, but regret abandoning your principles. Weep for simpler days long past. Weep for Pufnstuf.
Stupid lines! While you’re waiting in the drive-thru, how ’bout some light reading?
- Fries With That? A Brief History of Drive-Thru Dining – History.com
- 10 Things You Didn’t Know About the Fast Food Drive-Thru – Time
- Tips for New Iguana Owners – Green Iguana Society
- Monday Morning: TL;DR: Food Hipsters Ruin Everything – Philadelphia Magazine
- How to Start a Restaurant – Entrepreneur
Three gifs of bears who think your house is a drive-thru (Do not feed bears)
Recapture the magic of childhood with vintage fast-food restaurant toys (via Etsy)
- Muppet Babies toys from AuntieEmsCottage
- Burger King plushes from IndustrialToysPunk
- All Dogs Go to Heaven figurines from BlancoBros
- The Flintsones car toys from SalmonCreekAntiques
- A set of 8 (!!!) glass Garfield mugs from UsefulOldStuff
- A vintage assortment including a set of Mac Tonight vehicle toys from ThePinkRoom
No shirt? No shoes? No car to drive through? You can order our book How to Celebrate National Days in the nude from the comfort of your home. It’s now available in paperback and ebook on Amazon.