National Eat Your Beans Day
July 3, 2017
Refuse to kowtow to the machinations of the US Dry Bean Council by neither consuming nor purchasing any beans or bean-based products. Extend your boycott to the full class of legumes, eschewing peas, peanuts, tamarinds and the like. Glory in your personal autonomy and the self-satisfaction of standing up for your anti-bean beliefs. Look with pity upon those still shackled to “Big Legume.” Create a pamphlet extolling the virtues of a legume-free lifestyle and distribute it at farmers markets, grocery co-ops, and liberal arts colleges. Build a fortress in the mountains and recruit an army of devotees in preparation for the coming bean wars. Stay vigilant.
The More You Eat, The More You Know!
Links to learn more!
- The US Dry Bean Council
- How To: Beans & Grains (header image source– Get Vegucated
- Personal Autonomy – Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy
- How to Start a Cult – Psychology Today
- Ritual & Cult Generator – Ennead Games
Use all that sweet cult cash to buy some stuff!
- Mixed Beans & Peas Pillow by Sarahdoow on Society6
- How to Target Destabilized People for Recruitment in a Cult by Jeremy Hathaway on Amazon
- Beans Wall Art by TermynaPhotography on Etsy.
Secret Psychological Cult Recruiting And Brainwashing Techniques Exposed by Bryan Westra on Amazon
- Baked Beans Greeting Cards by Frogarts on Redbubble
And, of course, a handy image to share with your friends and family!