National Graham Cracker Day
July 5, 2017
Did you know graham crackers were a 19th-century invention intended to keep your sexual urges in check? Today, let’s test their efficacy. Eat a graham cracker, then sneak a peek at a woman’s ankles. Watch a man eat a banana. Have a few more crackers, then observe a woman in trousers. Stare at the shapely curves of a table leg. At lunch – try not to blush – ask your server for a chicken “breast” on your salad. At dinner, request a chicken “thigh.” Anything? Nothing? Wow. These graham crackers really work.
Manage your urges with links and learning
- Alton Brown’s Graham Crackers recipe – FoodNetwork.com
- Looking to Quell Sexual Urges? Consider the Graham Cracker – The Atlantic
- 9 Commonly Used Words with Surprisingly Unsavory Histories – Flavorwire
- If you don’t believe us, ask Snopes.com – Graham Crackers Origin
The first row of a Google Image search for “vaguely sexual”
An image to share with your strictly platonic friends
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