How to Celebrate National Girlfriends Day – August 1, 2017

National Girlfriends Day
August 1, 2017

Invite all your best gals over for a daylong celebration of drinking, dancing, and planning the perfect bank robbery. Stock your home with the essentials – wine, stemware, snacks, walkie talkies, police scanners, balaclavas, gloves, handguns, ammunition, and architectural blueprints of the bank, its underlying utility tunnels, and neighboring buildings. Assign each friend a pseudonym and a specific task in completing the heist. For example, “Candace” could be “Honey Badger” and run interference on the guards. “Emmy” could be “Princess Lollipop” and remotely disarm the bank’s security systems. Camilla could be “The Missus” and act as a phony hostage. Have some fun with it!

Anywho, rob the bank. Make your getaway. Abscond to Mongolia. Not only does Mongolia not have an extradition treaty with the United States, it’s beautiful, exotic, and, bonus points: yurts are totally trending right now. We read about them in Goop!

In Mongolia, build an organized crime syndicate specializing in the trafficking of Western technological goods to the rising Russian and Chinese middle classes. Retire to a yurt-based life of luxury, surrounded by your ultimate besties and miles of gorgeous temperate grassland. See what women can accomplish when they trust and support each other? Girl power!