Challenge #21: Citation Needed

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In our last challenge, we celebrated adult life’s daily victories, big and small, for ourselves, our friends and colleagues. This month’s challenge is a smidge less optimistic. For Challenge #21, we’re (politely and with some degree of anonymity) calling out the rude, the thoughtless, the ignorant, and the assholes with all-purpose citations – traffic ticket not term paper – of our own design.

The Challenge

Create and issue your own citations to any person, place, or thing whose behavior you find objectionable.

What kinds of behaviors are worthy of a citation? That’s entirely up to you, but, we suggest erring on the side of objectively bad or annoying behavior, like crappy parking, loud chewing, not using coasters, using the wrong coasters, not owning coasters, and talking about CrossFit. You know, the usual.

The Format

Your personalized citations can take any form you like, whether they’re scribbled on a cocktail napkin or directly onto the forehead of the offending person. But, if you’d like a little structure, we’ve created a template for you, in color and in black and white:


As with our merit badge challenge, we’ll be creating several ready-made citations covering a variety of terrible, no-good, very bad behaviors for your use. Please stay tuned for those posts. Oh, and please comment below or drop us a line if you have any ideas for citations we should make!

The Sharing

As always, we would absolutely LOVE to see how you’re interpreting this month’s challenge. So…

  • Send us an email at HEY @ FOLLOWMETOCERTAINDOOM dot COM
  • Post pics to Twitter or Instagram and call us out (@FMTCD) in your tweet or post

We’re excited to see what you’ll come up with and to hear the stories of how you successfully or unsuccessfully issue your citations! Talk to us. We’re so lonely.

Have a frank and productive day.

Your friend,

Certain Doom

P.S. You read correctly, challenges are now a whole month long. For reasons!