How to Celebrate National Cheeseburger Day
Raise a proud middle finger to the cheeseburger industrial complex by treating yourself to an entire bucket of fried chicken. Finish the chicken in a single sitting while watching reruns of the classic American crime drama Hunter.
Become enamored of Hunter star and former NFL defensive end Fred Dryer. Print a photograph of Fred Dryer’s face and adhere it to your now empty chicken bucket. Using pillows, a broomstick, duct tape, and old clothes, fashion a Fred Dryer “body” and secure it to your Fred Dryer bucket.
Position your Fred Dryer effigy (you can call him “Fred”) in a casual, yet decidedly masculine position on your couch. Talk to Fred. Share your feelings with him. Your dreams. Your desires.
In the morning, before you leave for work, give Fred a lingering kiss goodbye and thank him for the wonderful night. Feel genuinely happy and fulfilled for the first time in months, secure in the knowledge that, from now on, you’re going home to Fred Dryer.
A Selection of Pictures of Fred Dryer as Det. Sgt. Rick Hunter
Links & Learning
Websites galore, friends!
- 9 Hard-Hitting Facts About “Hunter” – Decades.com
- Fred Dryer’s official website
- The Real Fred Dryer Facebook Page
- the Hunter & McCall tumblr
A Feast for the Eyes and Ears
The pilot episode of Hunter:
We aren’t as awesome as Fred Dryer, but we’re still pretty cool. Subscribe to FMTCD and get a regular dose of Certain Doom straight to your inbox.
National Days Questionable Advice & Information advice bad advice fred dryer hunter hunter tv show national cheeseburger day National Days short stories short story stories story storytelling trail mix weird writing