How to Celebrate National Waffle Day
Keep running. Don’t look back.
As you sprint away from the hatch, scan your surroundings for any sign of stone pedestals and shiny red buttons. Find only grass, trees, and assorted packs of people picnicking, tossing around Frisbees, and otherwise enjoying a fine summer’s day in what appears to be a well-appointed park.
Slow your pace. Take a deep breath. You’re safe for now.
Take a moment to enjoy the fresh air and your reclaimed freedom. Stroll along a path until you find a row of food carts: ice cream, hot dogs, popcorn, and – oh, yes! – waffles. Nothing says “I’ve just escaped a sinister, Twilight Zone-esque recurring nightmare” like waffles. Treat yourself.
Order the most complex combination of waffle, syrups, and toppings the food vendor is willing to provide. Instagram a pic of your waffle monstrosity. Hashtag it #NationalWaffleDay, #America, #Blessed.
Find yourself a bench beneath some shady trees and tuck into your victory waffle. Allow the deliciousness of waffles to wash away your doubts, anxieties, and fears. Such is the magic of waffles.
Narrative Day
Today’s post picks up where our last narrative day left off! This is our ninth Narrative Day – a post featuring a light narrative that threads through other national days.
Previous entries, in order, were:
- National Fresh Breath Day
- World Lighthouse Day
- National Book Lovers Day
- National Garage Sale Day
- National Creamsicle Day
- World Photo Day
- National Radio Day
- National Sponge Cake Day
Narrative Days will be intermittently sprinkled throughout the month. We hope you’ll stay tuned to see what happens next.
Picture This
Can we just take a moment to appreciate this insane waffle tower?
Read all about it in the original Reddit post by Formaldehyd3.
Links & Learning
Oh, man. Waffles.
- A Brief History of Waffles – Time
- 34 Life-Changing Ways to Eat Waffles – BuzzFeed
- The 22 Weirdest Waffle House Stories Ever (So Far) – Bon Appétit
Yes, we mentioned official Frisbee flying discs
- History of the Frisbee – World Flying Disc Federation
- How Frisbees Got Off the Ground – Time
- How the Frisbee Got Its Name – The New York Times
- The Best Flying Disc (Surprise! It Isn’t a Frisbee!) – The Wirecutter
Your escape attempt worked and now you’re free to enjoy waffles with impunity. What happens next? Follow FMTCD and receive an email notification each time a new post goes live…
