How to Celebrate National Toasted Marshmallow Day
Stay off the roads and find a way out of town. Climb a hill into the forest inland from the coast. At the very least, the trees will help clear the smell of cabbage and celery from your nostrils.
Walk through the forest for hours. Walk until the sun begins to set. Consider your options for how and where to spend the night, then stumble onto a group of campers – a friendly bunch without a hint of chop suey about them.
The campers will invite you to stay with them. As luck would have it, they’ve brought along an extra tent and sleeping bag. Exhausted and with no other options, gratefully accept the offer.
Help set up camp. Secure the tents. Build a fire. Pass some idle chitchat. As the moon rises, settle in around the fire to toast some marshmallows together.
Tell the campers everything – about the lighthouse keeper and the buttons and the light bulbs, about the restaurant and the chop suey. They’ll take your tale for a fantastical campfire story. They’ll smile and nod appreciatively. Do nothing to disabuse them of their (dis)belief.
Excuse yourself, retire to your tent, and zip into your sleeping bag for some well-earned rest.
In the morning, wake to the scent of toasted marshmallows. Stretch. The camp will lay quiet. Leave your tent and walk into the morning light.
At the center of the camp, find seven mounds of toasted marshmallows, large and oddly human-shaped.
Call out to the campers. Receive no response.
Examine the mounds more closely. They’ll look like perfect replicas of your new camper friends, sculpted in marshmallow, toasted to a golden brown – a very nifty trick.
Look closer still and see the pained expressions on their marshmallow faces. Anguish and horror.
Shudder. Vomit. Turn around.
In place of the campfire will stand an old stone pedestal with a shiny red button at its top.
Our penultimate post for the August story. :::singletear:::
Throughout the month, we’ve connected several of our National Days posts with a little narrative. In brief: You saw a button, pressed it, met the love of your life, saw a button, pressed it, lost the love of your life, and continued to press buttons leading you into all kinds of different National Day-related situations.
Today’s post picks up where National Chop Suey Day left off.
Previous entries, in order, were:
- National Fresh Breath Day
- World Lighthouse Day
- National Book Lovers Day
- National Garage Sale Day
- National Creamsicle Day
- World Photo Day
- National Radio Day
- National Sponge Cake Day
- National Waffle Day
- National Just Because Day
- National Cherry Turnovers Day
- National Chop Suey Day
One more story post to go! Will you ever see the lighthouse keeper again? Find out tomorrow!
Toasted marshmallow-related works from some Society6.
- Camping Out – Marshmallow by Neuneu Booboo
- Burning the Food by Hairy Arm Collective
- Camping in Yellow by Cumulus
- Roasting Marshmallows Over A Campfire by Tasha Johnson
Links & Learning
Survival tips for when you’re alone in the woods, running from a shiny red button.
- How to Survive in the Woods – WikiHow
- Being Lost in the Woods: Tips for Survival – Survival Mastery
- How to Forage Safely – Backpacker
- Five Ways to Sleep Outside Without a Tent – Gizmodo
- 16 Backcountry Hygiene Tips Everyone Should Know – Backpacker
ONE MORE STORY POST! Follow FMTCD and get an email when the next post goes up…
Header image source – alphatel