National Trail Mix Day – August 31, 2017

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How to Celebrate National Trail Mix Day

Resolve to leave the civilized world behind. You are a danger to yourself and others.

But first, stop for supplies.

Find a sporting and/or outdoor goods store. Avoid eye contact and conversation with any of the shop’s staff or your fellow customers – head down and hooded at all times.

Fill your cart with trail mix. Also: a tent, a sleeping bag, an emergency radio, water purification tablets, eight pairs of socks, eight pairs of underwear, three changes of clothes, hiking boots, a sun hat, a camp stove, a lantern, a compass, a hunting knife, a multi-tool, duct tape, climbing ropes, sunscreen, various toiletries, and a backpack (or two) to hold everything.

At checkout, continue your purposeful avoidance of all human interaction, despite the cashier’s best efforts to engage you in small talk.

Go through the motions. Insert your credit card into the reader. Nod in the cashier’s direction when his voice takes on a questioning tone. Enter your pin.

Hear someone speaking your name. Again. Someone is saying your name.

Lift your head. It was the cashier. He’s smiling at you, and you know his face, and he is saying your name. You will be unable to speak. You will be unable to move. He’s your lighthouse keeper, and he’s here in this stupid store, and you’ve found him.

“Are you ready to check out?” he’ll ask.

Press the button.


Narrative Post

That’s it: the end of August and our little narrative experiment. :::allthetearsforever:::

No idea what we’re talking about? Over the last month, we’ve connected 14 of our National Days posts with a tiny thread of narrative. It led you to love, away from love, to shiny red buttons, away from shiny red buttons – to all kinds of national day-related places.

Wanna know more? Care to catch up? Like looking at lists? Here are all our narrative posts in order of appearance/storyline:

  1. National Fresh Breath Day
  2. World Lighthouse Day
  3. National Book Lovers Day
  4. National Garage Sale Day
  5. National Creamsicle Day
  6. World Photo Day
  7. National Radio Day
  8. National Sponge Cake Day
  9. National Waffle Day
  10. National Just Because Day
  11. National Cherry Turnovers Day 
  12. National Chop Suey Day
  13. National Toasted Marshmallow Day
  14. Today – National Trail Mix Day

Now in Convenient Book Format

how to celebrate national days volume 2 book cover

All of our National Days posts for the month of August are collected in our new book – How to Celebrate National Days: Instructions for Enjoying Daily Pseudo-Holidays, Volume 2 now available in ebook and paperback formats!

We find the narrative element holds together a lot better and is far easier to consume when you can read entries back-to-back. Plus, there’s a lighthouse on the cover. Highly recommended.

It would mean a lot to us if you’d check out the book. Here’s a link!

What Will We Do Next?

There are so many things we want to make and do for you, but so little time! For September, we’ll continue making National Days posts, but they’ll likely be a bit more succinct than August’s. We’d like to open up our time and energy to explore some other nonsense we’ve been kicking around, including but not limited to: a revival of our Dropping Knowledge seriesinteractive fiction games; terrible, meaningless quizzes; and even more merit badges (we think of new ones every day).

No matter what we get up to, we hope you’ll stay tuned. You are the sunshine of our life. That’s why we’ll always be around.

Hope you had a wonderful month.

Your friend forever,

Certain Doom


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[Header image from Healthful Pursuit]

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National Days Questionable Advice & Information

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