If you’re a left-handed person, congratulations: today is your day. Demand acknowledgment from your friends, family, and peers. The world is a more challenging place for you and the 15% of the population who are your brethren. Statistically speaking, puberty starts 4 to 5 months later for you lefties, your average lifespans are 9 to 14 years shorter than righties, and spiral notebooks exist simply to ruin your life…

Hop in your car and cruise your town’s ritzier neighborhoods for a garage sale.

Protip: garage sales are sometimes referred to as “estate sales,” particularly when associated with negative life events such as divorce, bankruptcy, or death. So, bonus points for the opportunity to ghoulishly pick over the remains of another person’s life.

Find an estate sale, park your car, and make your way through the one man’s trash that may soon be your treasure. As you peruse the goods, imagine how the items fit together to tell the story of their previous owner’s life – a collection of commemorative thimbles, the complete Jim Nabors’ discography, a burlap sack of human hair…

Stuff your pockets with assorted nuts of your choosing. Throughout the day, in the middle of any conversation, reach deep into your pockets and proffer your companion a handful of body-warmed, unwrapped, pocket nuts. Should they accept, know that your conversation partner is a dear friend and true. Should they refuse, immediately toss the nuts into their face and flee the scene. A person who refuses pocket nuts is no friend of yours.